Wednesday, November 6, 2013

our new home

this is our new home!
to keep up with our family click on that link!

Lots of love remember to message me your emails because I will be making it private soon.


Monday, November 4, 2013


I know. I have done this a hundred times but I am changing my blog I found a better site other than blogger so I am moving there. I have no idea if anyone even reads my blog but give me your emails if you read my blog and I will make sure you can view it! :)

Hopefully I wont need to change again!


Friday, November 1, 2013

Friday, October 25, 2013

one month of mommy-hood

 I knew there would be:
 dirty diapers, sleepless nights, spit up, and many fussy moments.I knew I would be so happy to have my baby in my arms and I knew I would love that baby with all my heart. I knew I would get to see him when he is happy and sad. I knew I would be able to watch my husband hold him and get the satisfaction that our family just grew so significantly.

But I did not know:

That while trying to deliver my baby boy I could hardly feel any pain because I was so excited and so focused on getting to see my little child. All those days hours laboring were nothing at that moment because with each push, each contraction I was that much closer to meeting my baby. Also, no one can explain how exciting it is to hear your midwives tell you he is almost out. That the next push will be your last. Listening to Robert say excitedly that he can see the baby's head and he has hair! Or that when my mom was by my head holding it counting each push with me I felt calm and in control, and I felt no pain although my epi was almost done.

That the minute they placed that little boy on my chest it would feel like that hospital room was one of the most sacred places.

Or that looking at that little boy I could see Robert and I in him, and I realized  how incredible it is to see yourself and the man you love in someone.

Or that overwhelming feeling of unconditional love that felt like I had been dipped in it from head to toe.
When my baby cries just to be held by mommy how incredible that feels.

When he smiles I want to kiss him all over.

It's not all easy but its all worth it.

Saturday, October 5, 2013


Our baby BOY!

We would like you to meet Calin Warren Kai Eshbaugh

Born 9-26-13
12:09 P.M.
8.10 lbs
21.5 inches long

So far we think he has my mouth and Robert's nose.
We do not know the color of his eyes yet they look super dark grey.

Here are some pics around the house of my little baby boy!

He has SOO much dry skin! From being in too long :)

waiting for him to come! Contractions = no fun

sheesh was I tired! only four hours of sleep!

in total awe of him

Calin laying on daddy


So his name....

Calin is a celtic name (scottish) and I am about 75% scottish. It means powerful warrior. Actually we wanted to name him Kaleb or Logan but Robert joked and made up the name Calin. I looked it up online and sure enough it was an awesome real name with a cool meaning and scottish influence! Awesome.

Warren is my Grandfathers name. He died when my mother was just a baby and I have never met him before. I wanted to name my first son after him for a long long time. Warren is his middle name. Warren means protector.

Kai yes we did it. We gave our baby two middle names. He may hate us or love us for it later IDK. but yes Kai, it is Japanese and it means Ocean.We loved how it sounded with his name and Robert's mom and Japanese family really liked it too. Added bonus I love the ocean? lol.

So thats how his name came to be. Calin is pronounced Cal like California and in like inside. Cal-in Calin :)

We are so OVERJOYED to be parents. I could care less about me now, now I just want him to be happy and healthy. Being a new parent is hard work but I love it SOOOO MUCH.

We had a baby!!!- the labor story

Hey all this first week of being a parent wow. So many emotions first of which is incredible JOY. Then a little fearful comes in and then reassurance...

I was 40 weeks and three days when I went into the doctors for a stress test. One to check and make sure the baby is not stressed and doing all right. I started having to do these because my fluid in my placenta was strangely low like several times. That adds lots of stress to the baby. Anyways so we went in I saw the ultrasound my fluid was lower than ever and my doctor came in and said we were going to start the induction process. That was Tuesday Sept 24th. I was with my mom and hurried frantic to get a hold of Robert and praying hard he was not already at work in Davis. He sure enough was getting gas and headed over to labor and delivery.

And here it all began. They gave me some medicine to start the process I was only at a one when they induced me. after that first day nothing really happened too much. That morning my midwife asked if I wanted to do this balloon thing where they insert a balloon and blow it up inside you and put some tension on it so it will make me dilate faster. They put it in and not even twenty minutes later it came one. (one of the most painful things ever) I took a couple warm showers and let me tell you they are AMAZING in the whole control of my contractions. LOVE that warm water. Anyways I was at a four and not really progressing too much. They say the process of starting labor is slow and let me tell you THEY WERE RIGHT ON. Morning and night these contractions came I didn't get an epidural yet. Let me just say I was really hoping I could go all natural or whatever but I was in the bathroom having one of the worst contractions yet and I prayed my little heart out. I wanted to be brave and what ever and be strong and do the best thing for my baby. I had this overwhelming feeling that God did not want to see me suffer if I could get help with the pain he wanted me to do it. So I said it right there I would wait till I was at a six and then that epidural would be my life savor.

That night was very painful but I got through it pretty well. They broke my water and it was sooo much stress on the baby that they had to fill me up with fluids again so the baby would have a cushion because his heart rate was dropping I have to say this was the scariest moment for me. They put me on oxygen and I cried and cried as the midwife and doctor looked at that little blinking heart beat on the screen. Luckily God sent an angel doctor who sat by me and took my hand and told me the baby was fine and I was fine and they would not let anything happen.

That next morning I was at a six.I got the epidural and only one side of my body was numb! crap. So they realized it was placed wrong (perfect) They replaced it and it stopped working! OUCH. Contraction pain more painful than ever. Luckily Robert was right beside me helping me to stay calm and breath my way through every single one. I was able then to get another epidural and crossed my fingers it would work. Nope. :( few hours later I could feel all that glorious pain again. I breathed through it but knew I needed to sleep. Luckily they said some people just need higher doses of meds... I am that person because once they upped the dose it was great. I was checked again and still at a 6. My midwife said that in an hour if they check on me and nothing has happened then I will need to get ready for other things (C-Section)

That hour among trying to sleep on and off I prayed my little heart out. I knew that I wanted my baby to come and be healthy but for the life of me I DID NOT WANT A C SECTION. Not after EVERYTHING I had been through! I pleaded with the lord. But like always I told him his will be done. I told him I could do a C-Section and I would if I needed too (duh) but I just said I would rather go all the way on this one please help me do this. Then after my prayers I was fully preped in my head it was like a C-section was not a problem anymore. I was actually more afraid of pushing then.

The nurses came in and out and moved me from side to side to help get me ready. an hour later my midwife came in and checked me.

My mom and Robert were sitting close by and I was ready for what ever they were going to say.
I was fully dilated and all that other stuff. The baby was ready to be born! They said they would come back in an hour and we could push. Ten minutes later I felt this strong (very very strong) sensation to push. I told my mom to call the nurse because I did not think I could wait another forty minutes.

The nurse came in and said I was ready. One nurse got me into position to push and I started. It was funny. By this point I could feel a lot. The epidural had worn off a lot at first I thought NIGHTMARE. but then I realized that it was a great blessing. I was able to feel the contractions so I was able to push. Without that I would have had a much more difficult time. So the nurse walks away to do something right as a contractions hits. I tell Robert to go down there at my feet and help me. My mom was rubbing my head and counting with me. I pushed my little heart out sheesh pushing was the BEST. I tell you what there is nothing like it in the world. Seeing that little baby was all I wanted and after three days of crazy I WAS READY TO MEET HIM. I was pushing and pushing and Robert said he could see his head! CRAZY!! The nurse came over to us and told me to stop pushing that she needed to get the midwife and other nurses in there. So, I held my push. SO HARD. Finally the midwife came in and in about twenty minutes my baby was born!!! I could not believe it when they set that beautiful child on my chest that HE WAS MINE. OURS. I cried and cried and cried and looked at his toes his hands his lips and nose and eyes and everything. He had hair too! :) That moment is when the unconditional love sets in.

I loved my baby so much more than I thought was even possible to love something or one.

Now seeing as I am a photographer I plan on taking his pictures but life is too crazy at the moment to set up a little shoot. I have been taking pictures mind you but not the staged kind. Those will come when I am more healed.

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