Friday, March 22, 2013

The man I chose

Hey there peps. Maybe its cause of this little one growing inside me? But I have been thinking a whole lot about the Mr. That I chose to be with for forever.

Maybe its becoming a mom that I see him in a new/different light. Maybe when the babe is actually here I will feel all these new things for him too. But, right I know right now is that the man I chose to spend eternity with is my best friend.

It's super incredible how things end up working out. If you knew me in High School then you may have been surprised to find out I married Robert Eshbaugh. Possibly you knew me better than I did and were not surprised. I D K. But what I do know is the boy I met when I was a Freshman turned out to be my exact perfect match.

I hated him. Well I say hate but it was an actually real strong dislike. (Robert hates it when I say I hated him, dont blame him) But in truth the first time I met him and anyone else who has seen him can say he is very attractive. Or so at least I thought.

I am not going to repeat our story its so long. But all I want to say is that I thought Robert was sooooo WRONG for me. This experiance of Love vs Hate taught me many things but mostly that who I think is right for me is not who God knows is right for me.

After time I of course realized how incredble the man really was and wanted him only him.

Being married for almost five years this July has taught me soo many things about love. It has taught me that you can love someone so deeply its insaine. You can always forgive. That fighting is just a part of life and that it comes less often when you think about the other person first. I have learned that there is no other person on this planet that could fill the space Robert fills in my life and in my heart.

When God told me Robert was the one like always he was right. I am so glad I listened, that I grew up, that I realized the amazing thing I had in my life. That my real best friend my whole High School life was really Robert the whole time. It was like I pulled a blind fold off my eyes and was like: DUH HE IS AMAZING HOW DID I NOT SEE IT?

So Robert. He is my husband. Has been for like I said, almost five years now. I can not describe in words how breathless it makes me to think of that boy going to wrestling practice, beat boxing in the car, taking me to dances, driving me around, buying me clothes, listening to Michael Jackson with me is going to be a Father. A dad. And not just any Father, or Dad, the Father and Dad of MY baby, of ours.

Its probably being Prego that has all these feelings swooshing around inside me I know, but its still how I feel about him. I am so proud of him, so happy he is mine. For Eternity.

I am so happy I started my Forever with him. BEST CHOICE/DAY EVER.

Thursday, March 21, 2013


It is no surprise what the theme for my kids rooms will be. If I have a boy I am going to put up all my family crests on his walls. I am going to place a temple in the center and this quote on it:

"I am the son of a King, and the defender of my fathers throne. I will live with honor and faith"

If I have a girl her walls will have a picture of the temple. The three dresses poem and a quote:

"I am a daughter of God, heir to my fathers throne, I will stand for truth and virtue. I was not sent here to fail, but to succeed. "

The whole thing I want my children to understand and ingrain into their heads is who they are, and how important they are.

for me growing up with these things really helped me be who I am today. It helped me stay away from so many things that would hurt me and to be strong even when my friends may not have always followed the standards of the gospel.

I want my little girls to know they are SOOO special and important and that being a women is not less than being a man, but that embracing the women-hood that is so divine is important. I want my girls to know that they should be proud of who they are, and their special role to plan in Heavenly Fathers plan. A lot of the people in this world think a stay at home mom, or a mom devoted to her children is sexist or not their full potential. I know the world is wrong. I have no fear and no shame in sharing with the world that I could care less what it thinks and that being a wife, mother and a women is incredible.

I want my little boys to know they are sooo important. I want them to know they are boys and men and should embrace their roles. I think it is important to instill in all children a sense of honor and duty. I think that remembering they are bearers of their fathers name, and should be proud to be an Eshbaugh and remember what it means, what our family stands for. I want my boys to grow into strong men, who understand how important it is to respect women and to treat them right. I want them to be gentlemen and to one day make some women's happily ever after come true, just like their father did for me. I want my men to be the bread winners, I want them to understand they should love and take care and provide for their families, support their wives and never belittle them, but to honor women-hood.

I really want to help my children do so many things but these two things for boys and girls I keep thinking about and I guess it must be important. LOL I can not get it off my mind how much I want my children to love who they come from and who they can be and are. I want them not be afraid of their gender, like so many people are in the world. I hate all the news about sex changes and people having issues with that, and then the whole same sex attraction. I know my children will have to hear even more than this by the time they are teenagers, so I just want them to be grounded, have a solid foundation for WHO THEY ARE.

So boy or Girl?

I will be ready.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013



With having a cold and morning sickness and stuff like that I have really been missing alot out of life. It makes me sooo bored of watching movies and reading and sleeping. I AM SO BORED. lol I came home today and sat by the open window on the couch and began to look through some pics on my computer. Can you believe I have not taken pics sense finding out I was prego? Weird. And sooo not like me, but I am planning on this weekend to fix that. My house also, where have I been? Its a mess, and actually I mean its fairly clean but its Robert clean, and that means things are swept and put away but IN THE WRONG PLACES. and I still have a Christmas Wreath up! A CHRISTMAS wreath! ha. It would seem I kinda put my life on hold for a few months. Well, happy to say my cold is saying goodbye and my morning sickness is slowly (slowly) fading out. Looks like I might be given a break! few. Well this weekend looks like spring cleaning mixed with a nature walk so I can get some pics I have been itchin for. and maybe someday I will get around to posting picks of my not so big belly. Honestly I have taken NONE. but that is because I have not gotten anything. I heard that is normal that you can not show till way later. But anyways I am excited to be back in apart of life and to be feeling well again. Wow sometimes I felt like I would never feel normal again.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013


They say that you can love someone at first sight. But what I know is that you can love someone before that. I loved my little baby the moment I took that pregnancy test. I loved my baby in elementary school when I would play with dolls and try and think of it as mine. I love my baby in Highschool when I said I would wait till marriage to have sex. I loved my baby on July 25,2008 when I created an eternal family. I also said I loved my baby so much I picked a man to be my husband that would be an AMAZING father.

I loved my baby so much that I worked real hard to put this baby's dad through school for the past 5 years. I loved my baby so much that I wrote my baby letters even before my baby was even created. I loved my baby so much that I knew God's timing was everything. I loved my baby so much that I made sure I was healthy.

I still love my baby so much. I believe that happiness is found in doing what is right. Sure tough times come and all that but its incredible to look back and see the path that has been being paved for you. I always had my little one on my mind.

So love at first sight? Nah I believe in love at first thought.

Dear baby E:

From the moment I thought about you till now I have always loved you. I am so grateful that I have been given the privileged of motherhood. I am so grateful you exist, and always have. I am so grateful that you get to come down to earth and get a body. Don't worry too much I will help you find your way. you are so special and there are so many things your heavenly father has in store for you. but you have already been so blessed because you have been given to parents who try their best and love God. You are being put in a family who sticks together, who works hard and are honest. You are incredible and we are excited to see what talents God will give you and what talents you will learn. We are excited to know the you, that you are. We will always be there for you we will always love you. So I will change your diapers feed you while you cant, will teach you to walk and talk and eventually go to the bathroom on your own. I will play games with you and explain to you about who you are. You will grow and learn so many things about this world. You will go to school someday you will not think Dad and I are too cool. But we still will love you. We will give you advice as you date teach you how you should behave. We will be there as you get your heart broken and as you find the right one to share your life with. We will be there when you get married in the Temple watch you raise children of your own. Then, you will understand what I feel right now, you will see someday the kind of love I have always felt for you, when you find out you are going to have a baby. When you meet that little one for the first time. Just remember I believe in love at first thought. I loved you the first time I thought about someday having a child and that was a long long time ago. You see darling, I will always always love you, I always have.


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