one month of mommy-hood

 I knew there would be:
 dirty diapers, sleepless nights, spit up, and many fussy moments.I knew I would be so happy to have my baby in my arms and I knew I would love that baby with all my heart. I knew I would get to see him when he is happy and sad. I knew I would be able to watch my husband hold him and get the satisfaction that our family just grew so significantly.

But I did not know:

That while trying to deliver my baby boy I could hardly feel any pain because I was so excited and so focused on getting to see my little child. All those days hours laboring were nothing at that moment because with each push, each contraction I was that much closer to meeting my baby. Also, no one can explain how exciting it is to hear your midwives tell you he is almost out. That the next push will be your last. Listening to Robert say excitedly that he can see the baby's head and he has hair! Or that when my mom was by my head holding it counting each push with me I felt calm and in control, and I felt no pain although my epi was almost done.

That the minute they placed that little boy on my chest it would feel like that hospital room was one of the most sacred places.

Or that looking at that little boy I could see Robert and I in him, and I realized  how incredible it is to see yourself and the man you love in someone.

Or that overwhelming feeling of unconditional love that felt like I had been dipped in it from head to toe.
 
When my baby cries just to be held by mommy how incredible that feels.

When he smiles I want to kiss him all over.

It's not all easy but its all worth it.