19 weeks

Today I saw my baby.
I am convinced the cutest little thing on this planet.And no surprise to me baby was moving ALL over like CRAZY! It was the coolest thing to see the baby kick and squirm.

The coolest moment?
Was when I saw the baby's part. Because that is when I knew what it was.



 have to be honest. I was not expecting a boy. But as I lay on that table with the goop on my belly and the ultra sound machine doing its magic. I looked at that little boy part and tears came to my eyes.

I did not care what my baby was, boy or girl it was mine. Once was Gods but now is mine. I could care less as long at that little baby was healthy.

I always thought I would have a girl first. No real reason but the fact I know someday I will have a girl. I even went so far as to plan mentally for a girl in almost every way. When I went in this morning there was a small doubt in my mind because you see deep down I knew it would be a HIM.

Why?

Well last Thursday I had a dream.
Now I have lots of crazy crazy dreams being prego and all. I even had a dream about a teenage daughter talking about drama... weird.

But I only have had one infant dream. it was crazy interesting and cool.

I was taking my baby about a month old or so on a walk outside. Turns out this mommy did not put sunscreen on her baby, and did not put up the visor thing.

I came home crying because my baby was in pain. I came home and Robert was comforting me, the baby was fine just a red head and face :( but I was also sad because the baby inherited my skin :( not roberts. I looked at that little baby boy and was so sad. So sad that little boy was in pain. and at the end of my dream all I wanted to do was to hold that baby and make all the pain go away. I woke up and I just wanted that baby boy. I wanted him.

So after that dream I felt a little empty about a girl. I was confused but empty cause I wanted a boy then and I "knew" it would be a girl.


But today it would seem my dream came true. I got a boy. Not at all what I expected not at all what we thought but it was an incredible and wonderful surprise. 

I want to hold that little boy so bad. and no worries when I really take him out ill be sure to protect him from all dangers, even the sun.

Robert and I could not be happier. We love that boy with all our hearts. Always have always will. I AM SO excited to be a mother. It's so incredible that I get the wonderful blessing of being able to grow a baby inside me and that I will be able to raise this baby. More even wonderful that God chose ME to be his mother, no one else. I was chosen for the job. I will not ever have a more important, or more beautiful work to do. It is uniquely mine. I thank God for this incredible blessing. I thank God that he gave me this baby boy.